Healing Stage Fright by Standing Up for Oneself



I received a stunning email from a therapist in New York City.  Emily shared an experience of coaching a client for communication and how the results impacted her “stage fright.”  Here is what Emily said….


Hi, Sandra.  I have worked with a person who had stage fright issues; they were really about standing up on any front.  When she stood up on

her job and won the respect of the people there, she also overcame the stage fright.


Here is the back-story about how Emily helped her client.  Emily truly understands how to coach people to be who they are and to stand up for themselves in the world.


Her client is an employee in a luxury hotel that handles special events.  She really knows how to attract guys without complications.  She is a very emotional personality, has New Age philosophy and is naïve in business skills.


 When a conflict arose at work, she struggled to stand up for herself.  With some coaching, she went to the union’s grievance department and got her entitlements. She thought everybody would hate her, but resentment is not the same as hate. Now she has respect on the job and more so as time goes by.  People like her now, she says.  She is pleased and puzzled at the way management shows appreciation for how many customers she attracts.


Here is where stage fright comes in. She checks out how people react to her when she goes into Starbucks. Emily told her the story about ‘turning on Marilyn,’ and she practices that.


True story.  Marilyn Monroe was out shopping with a girl friend.  The friend remarks “Nobody is noticing you.”  Marilyn replied, “Oh, I haven’t turned on Marilyn.”  “What?” said her friend.


Marilyn walks a little differently.  Immediately, people turn around and notice who she is.  Because she turned on Marilyn.


Here is what I shared with Emily….


Stage fright is really a fear to be our real self in front of others. It is a fear to be in our bodies – to stand in our own physical body and feel the feelings that occur. So, your client’s event was a kind

of initiation into her own power.  She learned to stand on her own two feet, stand up for herself, take a stand in an important work situation. When she did this, it shifted her fear about being who she is in the world, so she learned to turn herself on when others were watching.  That’s what Marilyn Monroe could do consciously.


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